At Your Service

Occasionally I get these long work streaks where I work every day for a week. I'm in the last leg of this "work week." Tonight is my sixth day in a row and this is usually my breaking point. The point where I notice the repetitive things people do and everyone's common funny habits. Jeff is probably glad I am venting to a computer instead of him, but I find people's hotel habits funny, and I thought maybe you guys would too.

We are short staffed right now, so we are frequently manning the front desk solo. Our busiest season is just around the corner, and business is really starting to pick up. For a while, we did not have an answering machine at the front desk, so when we weren't able to get to the phone, we just had to let it ring. And ring. And ring. Forever until the person on the phone finally decided to try again. And they did. Immediately. So not only would there be a line of three families, but the phone would constantly be ringing adding to any clerk's front desk anxiety. Then when we could finally get around to answering the phone, the person on the phone would let us know how mad that they were to sit on the phone for so long and listen to it ring.

A few weeks ago, we got an answering machine. It was an answer to my prayers. I do try to answer the phone as much as I can, but sometimes it just is not possible. Like a few nights ago when I had three people waiting in line. I thought it was an appropriate time to let the answering machine take one burden off my shoulders. I continued checking people in only to find the phone ringing again. The answering machine clearly says everyone at the front desk is busy and if they leave a message we will call them right back. But for some reason, callers don't believe us. They hear the answering machine, hang up, try again, hear the answering machine, hang up, try again. So finally after this caller's third attempt, I picked up his call which went a little something like this:
"How can I help you?"
"Ah...yes...um...I'm uh just uh lookin' for a room for the night. You got any availability?"
"We do have a few rooms available tonight but I'm actually with some guests right now (as the answering machine could have told you) so can I get your name and number and call you right back in about 5-10 minutes?"
"Listen, I just need to know the rate."
"I believe it is $69.00 tonight for 2 adults."
"I'm just sittin' here right outside on my motorcycle. I'll be in there in a couple of minutes. We're going to need three rooms for me'n my buddies."
"Okay. We'll see you in a minute."
And in walks biker dude.

That was the major annoyance of the week, these are the little things I've been noticing:
Our registration form has a place for our guests to write down their license plate. Nobody knows their license plate. So as soon as they turn around to try and figure out what their plate number is, I say, "That's okay, we don't really need your license plate. You can just put down the color of your car." to which they say, "Oh, that's alright, it's just right there." And they walk out the door, around their car, memorize the number or I've actually seen someone take a picture of it, come back in and write it down. Why do they feel the need to do this right after I told them we don't really need it?

Another favorite: I tell them the rate and then they say, "Well, do you have any discounts?" I try to tell them we can give them 10% off but before I can get a word out they say, "We have AAA, AARP, military, we're seniors, we have a Sam's Club and Costco card." Oh! The lucky combo! Free room for knowing every possible discount in the book! is what I'm thinking but what really comes out of my mouth is, "Oh, we can give you 10% off." Then they say, "So AAA and the senior rate is the same price?" Heaven help me.

And finally, favorite quotes:

"How do I wash clothes?" (not asking where the guest laundry was, but referring to whether or not she should mix reds with whites and what to do with the detergent.)

"Where do we go if we are trying to figure out our water rights in Cedar City? It's somewhere in Parowan I think."

"I guess I'll have to leave the smoking cat outside tonight."

(35ish year old man with just his wife) "You mean I can't use my dad's credit card if he's not here?"

"Hey! Do you remember us?!?"

"My 10 year old thinks you're smoking hot..."

"We told you guys earlier that we were going to be there at 4:15. But now we'll probably be there a little closer to 5:00 so I just called to let you know that."

"We have 4 kids and a baby."

"Oh my GARSH I am so tired! We drove all the way from Warshington today!"

"Um. Do you have any rooms with more than one deadbolt? I've seen people bust through these in seconds." "No. Sorry." "Okay, I think I can fix it up pretty good from the inside. This should be okay." -Coming from a man who strongly resembeled Dwight Schrute.


I feel much better.