Post-Grad

It all started two months ago when a college professor checked into the hotel. He was curious to find out my major and very eager to hear of my plans after I graduated. I quickly came up with an "acceptable" answer, "I would be interested in marketing local events in whatever town I end up in." The moment finally came I have been dreading my whole college existence. I have been scared of people's responses when they discover I have spent the last four years of my life on my plan B. When they discover I got an education to "just" be a mother. So I lie and pretend to have career plans.

Then, two weeks ago, I had another incident. I was putting chairs away after a combined Priesthood/Relief Society meeting in the singles ward while talking to a newly engaged member of the ward. She was so cute and gitty and somehow it came up that she just wanted to be married so she could be a mom. To my surprise, one of the boys who was also putting up chairs said, "Man, I wish I could find a girl like that." Confused, I said, "What do you mean? The girls you date don't want to be moms?" To which he said, "They do, they just want to adopt because they don't want to mess up their bodies." I stared at him in awe, unaware of this new trend among single girls.

Today, I was in a management class. We were discussing women in the workplace and how some women with children find it hard to focus on their careers because ultimately their family will come first. My teacher was fishing for a heated debate and the class sure went wild. One boy was the first to speak up saying he believes it is good for the woman to be home with the children when that option is possible. Then a girl speaks up and says, "Wouldn't it be better off for the kids to spend time with someone who got an education specifically in child development and education than to spend time with their mother who is not trained in those areas?" I almost puked.

Thank goodness for the lesson in Relief Society last Sunday about the divine roles of women. And thank goodness for our home teachers who dropped by after church with a similar message. I am so bugged with the contorted view of what women should be.

To the girl in my management class: I hope one day she sees the importance of a mother in the home. I was watching a show today about juvenile delinquents. They pointed out an interesting trend: most of those troubled teens had one or both parents absent in their lives. President Uchtdorf in his article, "The Influence of Righteous Women" says it best:

"Because their potential for good is so great and their gifts so diverse, women may find themselves in roles that vary with their circumstances in life. Some women, in fact, must fill many roles simultaneously. For this reason, Latter-day Saint women are encouraged to acquire an education and training that will qualify them both for homemaking and raising a righteous family and for earning a living outside the home if the occasion requires. We are living in a great season for all women in the Church. Sisters, you are an essential part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for eternal happiness; you are endowed with a divine birthright. You are the real builders of nations wherever you live, because strong homes of love and peace will bring security to any nation. I hope you understand that, and I hope the men of the Church understand it too."

To the girls with perfect bodies: This shocks me so much. Especially seeing the struggles many people I know have had to try and get pregnant. I suppose I was once a girl who was afraid of the epidural and the pain of having a baby, claiming I would adopt. But to seriously consider not having children because it would ruin your figure; that makes me cringe.

To the professor at the hotel: I want to grow up to be a mother. There is nothing better I could be. If it so happens that I need to find a career due to financial issues, I will cross that bridge when it comes. If it fits in my schedule where I feel I can make a little money on the side while still giving all necessary attention to my true calling, that would be great. I have been blessed to marry someone who supports my beliefs. I am proud to say Plan A is to be a mother.

Sorry to rant, I just feel like motherhood has been under attack in my life lately. Someone had to stick up for it. (And although it may sound like it, for the record: not pregnant.)