Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Worst Case Scenario Sarah

If something goes wrong in my life, I tend to dramatize it and prepare for the worst case scenario. For this reason, I have earned the nickname Worst Case Scenario Sarah. Let me give you a few examples:

1.) News of Swine Flu surfaced. Jeff tried to hide the newspapers, change the channel, and close a website any time the Swine Flu was mentioned. I still happened to stumble across the information. Suddenly I felt feverish, nauseous, and started growing a curly tail. Only to discover the symptoms were all in my head.

2.) Claiming I failed a test only to get my score back and see a 92%.

3.) One time at work I was taking a blanket to a guest's room. I noticed the door next to their room was cracked open but the room was dark. I ran up to the front to see if we had anyone staying in that room. Nope. It was supposed to be empty. I ran back, quickly closed the door and waited for the graveyard shift guy to go inspect it when he arrived for work. I didn't want to be the one stabbed by the creepo hidden behind the shower curtain.

Get it? So now you will appreciate the story of the mouse under our couch.

It was a windy night in Cedar City. Leaves were whipping off the trees, signs were flying off of shops, and if Tyra Banks was in town, the wind would have taken hold of her precious wig. It was nearly impossible to sleep through, but eventually I dozed off. I woke up pretty early the next morning. I ate breakfast and then headed to the couch to watch a little Saturday morning TV. To my surprise, there were "oats" sprinkled all over the couch! This was my thought process:

Jeff does get up sometimes for midnight snacks. But why would he throw oats all over the couch? ... Did I sleepwalk? ... How did these get here? ... Oh my gosh. I bet we have a mouse in here!

I ran into the bedroom where Jeff was still fast asleep. I started making natural loud morning noises like banging drawers and jumping on the bed to get him to wake up. He looked over at me confused and I whispered, "Jeff, you've got to come see this. There is a mouse living under our couch."

Jeff just couldn't wait to see why I thought we had a mouse in our house so he staggered into the living room to check out my dilemma.

"Jeff, look at all those oats the mouse put all over our couch."
"Sarah, how did the mouse get into the oats?"
"I don't know. Did you leave them out last night."
"There IS NO mouse, Sarah."
"Then why are there oats all over the couch?"
Jeff went to feel an "oat."

"These are flower pedals, Sarah! They blew in through the window last night."
"Why would the mouse want flower pedals?"
"Ugh......I'm going back to bed....a mouse? Ha."

And there I was at my peak. Heaven forbid I go to pick up one of the "oats" and realize it was really a flower pedal. And heaven forbid I think of a logical cause of the "oats" all over the couch. Worst Case Scenario Sarah strikes again.

(Between you and me, a part of me really does think he's there. So be sure to help me name him by voting on my poll.)


Susan said...

Sarah, You don't need pictures. Your stories are graphic enough. LOL. It is always wise for a girl to think of the worst case scenario. If you expect the worse, you won't be disappointed if there isn't anything worse, to worry about :)

jlthomas said...

I'd like to submit a write-in entry: Kermit.

Glen said...


This is so Sarah. Sorry about that. I remember Jacob always reminding Sarah about the little girl who cried wolf countless times as she was growing up. She just didn't get it.

Sarah just needs to take a deep breath and chill for a moment or two and she would be fine but once that little mind gets going it is a run-a-way train or possibly a train wreck...

We still love you to pieces anyway Sarah!!!

Kim said...

I totally understand about always thinking of the worst case scenario. I think that perhaps you got that trait from your mother. So sorry Jeff!

Rebecca said...

You want to talk Swine Flu?

Last week I got sick. I had a fever. I couldn't get out of bed...unless it was to run to the bathroom to throw up. I was convinced I had Utah's first case of the Swine Flu.

I was better in 12 hours.

Close call.