Sunday, February 07, 2016

It's Great to Be 28...

My birthday was on a Monday this year which was less than awesome. Other than the fact that Eli had school in the morning and Carson went to preschool, so I took advantage of my one-on-one time with Lincoln to do a little photoshoot for his 1-year pictures. 

Would you like to hear about my birthday? Can I just tell you that January is officially dubbed my children's most restless, stir crazy month. They are done being cooped up. They are constantly screaming at each other. We are in a major winter funk. Reaching our low point...on my birthday.

The day was off to a promising start. Jeff let me sleep in. When I woke up, I found the boys had put balloons all around the house and hung our "Happy Birthday" sign. I had just enough time to get a workout in before I had to take Carson to school. Lincoln was cute and went right to sleep for me in the morning. 

Carson came home. He sweetly looked at me. He walked over to my birthday sign. And swiftly ripped it in three places. Then he smiled at me again and said in an innocent, calm voice that directly contrasted his actions, "Mom. I broke your birthday sign." Like it was his present to me. Thanks, bud.

Then he wandered around the house saying things like, "Mom. I'm going to pop all your balloons." "Mom. I got your makeup." "Mom. I'm trying to ruin your life one deceivingly sweet remark at a time."

I always try to do something a little out of the ordinary and fun for birthdays. Since Jeff was at work all day, I took it upon myself to invite me and the boys over to my mom's house for a throw-it-yourself birthday party. I was insistent on Olive Garden, which meant I had to pick it up on my way down...with all three boys.

I have a tendency to put a little too much trust in my abilities to contain three boys in a public establishment. "We can do it!" I told myself. "It's a to-go order! We'll be in and out and on our way!"

I picked Eli up from school. Back story -- Eli had just convinced himself Jeff's tablet is actually HIS tablet because his friend at school has a tablet, so he felt like taking ownership of the family tablet was the only thing to make his life "fair." (He's big on everything being fair these days.)

As he left for school, he laid the tablet on the counter and said, "Mom. Watch my tablet for me while I'm at school." Okay, Eli. Got it. 

As I picked Eli up from school, first thing he said was, "Mom. I didn't tell anyone it was your birthday, and did you watch my tablet for me?"
"Yes, Eli. I did watch DAD'S tablet while you were gone." I replied. Then I went on, "Okay boys, here's the deal. We're going to go to grandma's house to eat Olive Garden! Doesn't that sound fun?!?"
Eli immediately grew frantic, "DID YOU GET MY TABLET?!?"
"No. I left it at home. We don't need it at grandma's house."
"I NEEEEEEEEEEDDDDD MY TABLET!!!" ...on repeat for 15 straight minutes until we reached Olive Garden.

As we were getting off the freeway, Eli's anger shifted, "Wait. Why are we getting off the freeway? This isn't where grandma lives!"
"I know. We have to go to Olive Garden to get our food."
"NooooooOOOOOOooooOOOOO! You said we were going to EAT Olive Garden. Not that we had to GO TO Olive Garden! Waaaaahhhh waahhh wahhhh wwaaaaaaahhhhh."

Then Eli and I had a back-and-forth about how he needed to come in with me. To which he jumped out of the car and ran in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. Lincoln and Carson were calm and under control. We eventually all regrouped and shuffled into the store...

Where the baton was passed from Eli to Carson.

I had prepped them over Eli's screaming on the way down to stay RIGHT next to me. To be nice and not scream. To patiently sit in the chairs to wait for our food. Carson was right on track. Following all my directions. We were actually doing better than expected, even with Eli's tablet tantrum.

The food took a few minutes to come out to us which is where we derailed. As the cashier informed me it would be a few minutes for our food, Carson took the opportunity to run around the restaurant like a complete lunatic shouting, "BOO!" at LITERALLY every single person sitting at a table while putting his hands up like claws and growling.

I chased him for half a second before realizing I had little choice but to ride his tirade out. He made it back, and in the same proud, happy voice as his, "I broke your birthday sign, Mom," he proudly exclaimed, "I scared all the people, Mom!" Oh yay.

It was hilarious and infuriating all at the same time. 

Then we went to my mom's house where the boys fought over Legos because, "Carson took the Lego I was GOING to use."
"Were you actually using it?" I asked.
"No. It was in the box. But I saw it and I was GOING to use it! It's MINE!"

We made our way back home without incident, where my friend came over to bring me some candies. I laid the candy down just as the boys came down to check out our company. They snatched the candy up, ran up to their rooms with it, found scissors, opened the bag, and opened at least 6 individually wrapped chocolates all in a matter of 60 seconds. 

So that was my birthday! Jeff did get me a new phone which somewhat made up for the lunacy of my offspring.
You can see the lack of trust I have for Eli holding a lighter after our day.
The Sunday before my birthday was my grandma's birthday dinner. I snagged the two cutest pictures of my boys that make it hard to believe all their birthday shenanigans.
Don't be deceived. 

As we were loading everyone up to go to this party, I was like, "It's my birthday month! It's my birthday month!" while I was putting Lincoln into his carseat. It was only then I realized, "Hey! It's YOUR birthday month too!" I am still in denial he was born in January.

It was a...birthday! We'll try again next year. :)


Rebecca said...

Oh yes, your birthday. l almost forgot about the joy your boys were that day. :) Anytime I need to put a smile on my face I think of Eli, "Mom, you are INSANE!"

LC said...

Ha ha ha! Your birthday story made me laugh. I love you. The boys crack me up.

Kim said...

I was so glad you planned your own Olive Garden birthday party, but I certainly was worried about you picking up the food at the restaurant with three boys in tow. This story shows my worries were justified.