Kid Funnies

Lincoln still loves garbage men and has recently been practicing drawing them. I particularly love his little recycling symbol, the earth, and the cameo from the "policeman chasing a robber." 

One day I was making the kids sandwiches for lunch. I made Jonah a beautiful turkey sandwich that he immediately shoved away. "I don't want a sandwich!" He screeched. "I want a CRACKER sandwich!"

I profusely apologized for the misunderstanding while I ate his perfectly good rejected sandwich. After getting the rest of the kids settled with their sandwiches, I pulled out the crackers to start on a second attempt for Jonah. 

Jonah squealed with delight upon seeing the Ritz box. 

I spread peanut butter on a Ritz cracker and then topped it off with another Ritz as this is the only thing close to a cracker sandwich I've ever made for Jonah. Jonah flipped out, "Not THAT cracker SANDwich!" 

"You want meat and cheese on a cracker?" I asked.

"NO!" He replied.

"What do you want?!?" I questioned, now at a total loss. 

"I want a cracker ON a sandwich!" He answered, arms held out, emphasizing every syllable. 

Fearing another sandwich rejection, I slowly prepared a regular meat sandwich, asking Jonah if I was making it according to his order with each step. As soon as I put that Ritz atop the lunch meat and slapped the top of the bun on it, Jonah was finally satisfied. A cracker sandwich. 

One day Eli and Carson decided they wanted to paint some boxes. I think it started as them wanting to create a fake TNT box, but it slowly just turned into a blissful moment of creativity. 

I found this YouTuber I've been loving named Sydney Cummings. She does a new workout every morning and it's brought new life into my workout routine.

Jonah gets offended if he finds me working out without him as he enjoys Sydney's glute bridges and bicep curls, too. He always follows along whenever he's around, and this day he killed me when he hunted down one of my resistance bands and light weights to follow Sydney to a "T"! 

We finally made it back to church for the first time postapocalyptic world. The kids kept their masks on the whole (30-minute) time. We are only allowed to meet in groups 50 people or less, so it was a very small gathering, but it was nice to see (half of) some friendly faces. 

Jonah is full of funny sayings right now! One day he was particularly obsessed with Heat Wave, the firetruck transformer from Rescue Bots. Heat Wave (according to Jonah and Lincoln) is so awesome because he has a powerful sprayer for one of his arms. 

Well, by mid-day, I kept seeing Jonah yanking on his arm. When asking what he was doing, he said, "I'm trying to rip my arm off." 
"Why do you want to rip your arm off?" I wondered.
"Wanna be a robot."
"Robots have arms." I tried to reason.
"Need a shooter for my arm like Heat Wave." He insisted.

And so it went all day until dinner when he explained to Jeff he wanted to rip his arm off.
With concern, Jeff explained, "Jonah, you don't want to rip your arm off. It will bleed and we'll have to take you to the hospital." 

Jonah looked Jeff square in the eyes and with a brave front, he boldly stated, "Want to see blood."
Thankfully, before Jonah managed to pop his arm off, he found a good substitute for his robot sprayer arm in the Lego bin.  

Every night the younger boys get a book and a 2-3 minute video on YouTube as part of their bedtime routine. This is working out really well because the older boys want to watch the younger boys' videos, especially since they've discovered these funny little Lego stop-motion stories, so the older boys are eager to help with bedtime so they can stick around for the show. Win-Win-Win-Win-Win-Win! 

We've started dabbling in Centaur work over here. I believe this is Carson's creation. 

I love my mini waffle maker, but I've only had one for a year and it's the only waffle maker I have! It took forever any time we wanted to make waffles. I found another one at Target and was so happy to be able to double my waffle making abilities. When I had these mini helpers to open and close my mini machines, we were swimming in waffles! 

One night while eating taquitos, Lincoln said, "I want some potato sauce for my taquitos!" It took us a minute to figure out he was talking about the sour cream, but now it doesn't go by any other name!

Jonah's sick and tired of seeing everybody on a computer all day. The challenge this week has been trying to get Jonah to not actively try to persuade Lincoln to join him in his playing the whole time Lincoln is on his Kindergarten Zoom calls. One day Jonah shouted with annoyance, "I HATE COMPUTERS!" We feel you, bud! He eventually succumbed to the digital beast and plopped himself down with his own little computer one morning. 

We went to Quail Lake with Jeff's parents and his sister's family this weekend. It was so good to get out of the house and move our bodies! I told my mom and sister I feel like I'm a prisoner to Zoom calls all day. We were stuck in our house a lot before, but now we are really locked down until early afternoon every day. Plus it's so hot that we don't ever want to leave the house even after school is done. So it was a welcome relief to have some new scenery, some new people to talk to, and some new tricks to try. Eli figured out how to get up on a kneeboard! He's obsessed now and is eager to hit the lake again! 

A few more funnies from the last couple of weeks:

Jonah came into our bed one night because he was scared.
Me: Do you think you're ready to go back to your bed?
Jonah: No. It's danger in there.

***

Me: Go play in the other room.

Lincoln: Okay Jonah, let's go without the dinos.

Jonah: NO! Let's go with IN the dinos!

***

Me: Boys, I need you to come pick something up from the school with me.

Carson: Let me comb my hair first.

Eli: I'm not combing my hair. I'm fine. I look like a typical man.

***

Preparing for Father's Day, the boys and I had been practicing Father's Day songs right before Jeff got home from work. We heard the garage open, so Lincoln ran out of the room. As soon as he saw Jeff he quickly reassured, "It's nothing. Just a normal song. We were just singing a normal song."

Moments later Lincoln started singing "My Daddy Is My Favorite Pal" right next to Jeff, trying to cover, he quickly changed the words to "My Mommy is my favorite pal" while side-eyeing Jeff, thinking he was being so sneaky. 

***

While reviewing what colors mix to make other colors:

Jeff: How do you make pink?

Kids: White and red!

Jeff: How do you make green?

Kids: Blue and yellow!

Jeff: How do you make white?

Kids: ...white? It just is. 

Eli: It doesn't have an origin story.

***

Carson: Someone has climbed Mt. Everest.

Lincoln: Did they die?

Carson: No, they lived!

Lincoln: But it's sharp at the top.

***

While watching for the garbage man, Jonah shouted, "There he is!" as the garbage man started rolling down our street. When Lincoln looked, Jonah slapped him with a quick, "Made ya look." 

***

Eli and Carson were sitting on the couch across from me. Eli whispered to Carson, "Our plan isn't working." 

I never did find out what their plan was, but I think I'm glad it didn't work. 

***

Lincoln: What's this?

Carson: A board book.

Lincoln: Nope, it has like a thousand pages. It's not boring.

***

Me: Carson, have you brushed your teeth?

Carson (screaming at Lincoln): NO, LINCOLN! DON'T TELL HER I DIDN'T!

***

Me: Eli, there's a difference in jokes that are funny and jokes that are rude. 

Eli: Mom, your jokes aren't funny. 

Me: Well my jokes aren't mean to anybody. 

Eli: They're insulting to the guy who invented puns. 

***

Just after Jonah and Lincoln woke up for the day, they both came out of their rooms at the same time and saw each other across the hall. They had a short stare-down and then Jonah said to Lincoln in a vengeful whisper, "...you again."