I am a said SAHM. I stay home. Mostly all day long seeing as one child naps at 10:00, one naps at 12:00 and the other naps again at 2:00. Doesn't leave a lot of time for escaping the confines of our property lines.
Maybe it's the combination of the lingering winter, Jeff's busy season and extra stresses of everyday life, but I feel like I have been less than awesome lately. It's true.
Then I hop online and can't help but find article after article from all these moms who have life together. From the internet's perspective anyway.
Then I thought, what if, by some crazy chance, someone thought I had it all together when in reality, most of the time, I am feeling less than adequate to have the responsibilities of motherhood?
So you know what? I'm going to get real. Because I'm a little sick of reading about perfection, and I want to reassure anyone who could think everything is hunky dory in our neck of the woods 24/7 that I've done one or two motherhood "don'ts" and "shouldn'ts."
Here are my confessions. Disclaimer: I'm not depressed or sad or anything. I'm just figuring out I'm human, trying to do better, and maybe I'm hoping someone else will read this and realize they're doing alright in the mom department too.
1 - This whole post stemmed from this evening. Carson was crying and Eli was screaming after I put them down for bed. Everyone had fresh diapers on, full bellies, and I knew they were just tired. I conveniently chose to vacuum to drown out their cries. When I turned the vacuum off, there was silence! I've also been known to get in the shower under similar circumstances, and I've always had good results. It gives me a few minutes of peace and usually gives the kids time to cool off without me having to hear their whining.
2 - I fed Carson peanut butter and honey this week. Not supposed to do that until 1 year folks. That's still 3 weeks away. I didn't feed Eli peanut butter until he was probably 18 months because I was so nervous about it. I've let a lot slide with #2.
3 - Carson frequently gets bottles in his crib. Being up with two kids at night is a joke. I'll let the boy's teeth rot if it means I get 20 extra minutes of sleep every time he wakes up at night!
4 - I used to be so appalled when parents yelled at their kids. Back when I only had one kid. Since becoming a mother of two, I've been known to raise my voice. Quite a bit. Every day. Not proud of this one, and I try every day to do better.
5 - I put Eli in a diaper for his naps (still not potty trained for sleeping), and lots of the time I don't take his diaper off until the evening because it's so much easier to not have to worry about taking him to the bathroom. I take full responsibility for my laziness.
6 - My rule is - if the kids are happy, don't mess with them. So by golly, if Carson needs a diaper change, but he's happy as can be, I don't change him until he gets whiny.
7 - Dinner most of the time is spaghetti or tomato soup. That's on a good night when I actually get around to cooking dinner.
8 - If my kids are crabby and I really need to get something done, I keep them busy by feeding them piles and piles of chocolate chips. Works like a charm.
9 - I hardly ever read to Carson. And he doesn't like to read books. And I feel like it's all my fault for not reading to him enough as a baby.
10 - Eli eats hair. Yup. He does. It's disgusting and I don't know what to do about it. (See #4)
11 - Eli started sucking his thumb, so the binky is back. He is an angel with a binky and I'm done fighting with him over stealing Carson's binkies. We'll wean them both in a few months. Maybe.
12 - I'm not an activities-type mom. Luckily for me Eli's super independent and can keep himself busy. Hopefully the rest of the kiddos follow suit because I am really bad at providing entertainment for children. (This picture is deceiving for this confession. Deal with it.)
13 - I bribe Eli with candy at Wal-Mart so that he stays in the cart. It only works occasionally. But I always cave and give him the candy anyway.
14 - We are a three-ring circus at church. Toys everywhere. Screaming. Crawling under the benches. Snot dripping down the kids' noses always. That's us. We are that family.
15 - Carson's whole diet is basically macaroni and cheese. We joke that he munches on other food just to sustain life in-between his macaroni-and-cheese binges.
16 - The kids don't wear pants a lot. Or ever. But you guys already knew that.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I've got for now. It was quite refreshing to "get real" on the blog where I always try to be cheery and optimistic. Which I still am. Really. I don't want you to get the wrong idea from this. And actually, writing this all down has made me realize I'm doing a lot right. And these problems are mostly miniscule. But regardless, we're not perfect, and you should know that.
Now tell me all your confessions. You don't get to judge me without showing your real side, too. :)
(Carson did the hand motions to the Popcorn Song for the first time today.)
Happy Sunday everyone.
6 comments:
I still think you have it all together, you are pretty and a cool/fun mom. I never want to write a sob post because I don't want anyone to worry about me because I'm fine.....or I tell myself I'm fine and I somehow get through it. Your honesty is refreshing though.
I read this on facebook the other day:
https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/jai-wallace-tracy/on-being-a-mom-/10151475462838279
about momming. i liked it. almost as much as this post! i like the real stuff. sometimes i feel really inferior to all those girls that like shower daily. and even MORESO those girls who makeup/blowdry/wear real pants daily.
that's like a once a week event here. 1/3 of those things at a time. never all 3.
anyway.
i still think you've got it all together. and are one of the best moms i know.
and your kids are happy!
pantless=happy. that's something i've discovered is an all time true at our house at least.
haha.
my SAHM confessions:
1. i am the same about a happy kid/messy diaper. izzy ALWAYS poops when we first go to the playroom during the day. as soon as she starts playing really good by herself...bam. poop. but now i just let her play until my guilt wins out, or she starts noticing that she needs a change.
2. she still has a binky.
3. my bedroom has a perpetual clean laundry pile these days. i just close the door.
4. sometimes people knock on my door but me and izzy conviniently go play hide and seek because i am still not showered/wearing a bra and it's like 2pm. hahaha.
the end.
i could go on forever though.
love you.
hahahahaha....
Sarah. I have no mommy confessions to make but. Here is a confession. I love you, and I love your kids. And pretty sure you were just helping Carson out by giving him peanut butter that early cuz peanut butter is delicious and amazing and why keep it from him like that? I mean it's selfish when everyone else has had peanut butter and he hasn't.
Motherhood scares me a little. Thanks for posting this, I think so many people get caught up in this ideal of perfect. No one is. Except Jesus. Hmmmm.... I wonder how he would SAHF?
Also, my favorite martini quote:
"Sometimes i feel really inferior to all those girls that like shower daily."
Hahahahahahaha.... yes. And also I hide from people who knock on my door on a saturday too. But I don't have kids. And I don't have an excuse to not be ready or wearing a bra. I can only imagine what I will look like when I will have that excuse.
Eli eats his hair?! How did I not know this? Also, you gave him back his pacifier?! I would have loved to have seen Mom's reaction to that bit of information.
My confession: Spencer still has his paci but we usually only give it to him at bedtime. And at church. Last week at church a boy months younger than Spencer was behind us. He pointed to Spencer (who had his paci in his mouth) and said, "Baby!" His mom said, "No, he's not a baby. He just still has his binky."
Confession #2: Remember that one time I didn't brush my kid's teeth for the first five years of her life? And then we had to pay tons of money to get cavities filled? Yeah, Mom fail right there.
Just wondering...do you ever remember me yelling at you kids? Please say you don't remember because it happened often and each time I felt horrible and guilty about it and then I would do it again...and again...and again.
But I like to think the good times outweigh the bad times and all you remember is the happy memories.
Tell me it's true.
I'm assuming that is your mom in the above post. I love what she said. No matter if you feed your kids chocolate chips or peanut butter and jelly or don't shower or whatever the case. You exude love for your children. Well done! And thanks for being honest. Everybody needs a dose of that every once in a while. ;)
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