Thursday, December 08, 2016

Mommy's Special Juice

My first pregnancy craving hit and it hit hard. I was innocently transcribing. Minding my own business. When I suddenly NEEDED a healthy dose of carbonated apple-ness. I thought the urge would pass, so I gave it a day before caving in. 

A day later, and I still needed it. Sparkling cider was calling my name and it wasn't going to leave me alone until I indulged. Indulge I did. 
The older boys were at school. Lincoln was down for a nap. I popped open the bottle and hit the bottle hard. I basically drank the entire bottle in one sitting, but I poured it into one of my mom's fancy glasses because maybe sometimes when I'm drinking non-alcoholic beverages that look mildly alcoholic I like to pretend I'm on The Bachelor by swirling it around in a champagne glass. So what?! I'm pregnant. Leave me alone. 

Then it kind of became a habit. I wouldn't exactly say I was a juice-aholic, but then I wouldn't exactly be telling the truth. Every time I bought groceries, sparkling cider would appear. To be ingested only in the quiet afternoons all by myself, lest I have to share it with anyone else. 

On one particular shopping trip, as we were checking out, the sparkling cider was scanned. Carson got excited and exclaimed to the cashier, "That's mommy's special juice! We can't have any!" 

Eyes wide. Polite smile on. Carson's mouth reflexively covered with a forceful palm. It was then I realized I had a problem. 

So yeah. I juiced for a bit. But I'm happy to report I'm recovering. I haven't had a swig of cider since the grocery store incident of shame. I felt it necessary to clear this up in case any of you happen to have a side conversation with Carson where he mentions "Mommy's special juice that he's not allowed to drink," it was cider. CIDER. Alcohol free cider. For the record. 
I was amused one day to find the boys had "hung their hat" in a peculiar place in the house. 

My mom has strategically placed nails throughout her house for the various holiday decorations that emerge each month. One such nail, that is only used 30 days out of the year is the nail on the fireplace for the Christmas stockings. Eli and Carson found a use for it during its off season. 
The boys were thrilled to wake up to the first snowfall of the season. The only way they know how to play in the snow is to shovel the snow off the driveway, since that's all they will ever find me or Jeff doing in the snow and they don't know better. Eli and Carson were unsure what to do when they realized no snow had stuck to the sidewalk. They gave themselves the job of shoveling the snow from the grass to the sidewalk to maybe later remove it from the sidewalk? They never made it that far though and I was later left to unnecessarily shovel our front porch. 

Carson was so excited about the snow that when I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he declared, " A snowball and 2 pickles." And that's just what he got. (Snowball prepared by him.)
Carson was also so excited about the snow, he apparently pranced around the deck barefoot, as is evidenced by each individual toe print he left behind in the snow. 
And just in case you're not convinced Carson loves the snow, this one will diminish your doubts. 
One morning the boys found straws and spent some time snorkeling in the bathtub. 
Here's a Lincoln in warmer weather looking quite pleased with the opportunity to climb without me whisking him away from the heighths he's reached. 
Here's that time my sister and I went to see MEL from MEL'S KITCHEN CAFE! Notice how I said see and not meet. We kept our distance on account of I was nervous I would profess my love to her in a babbling mess of tears and giggling. In an effort to prevent a restraining order, I kept a safe space between us. Who we didn't keep a safe space from was her husband. Who heard us (somewhat jokingly) oooohing and aaaaaahing and hyperventilating over Mel as we first walked in, right by him. Oh well. He's ooohed and aaahed over her too, so I'm sure he completely understood our obsession. 
At roughly 16 weeks maybe? All that drinking and I've finally got the beer belly to prove it. Carson's Sunday School teachers are going to believe the stories he's likely telling them. 
One evening I went to a girls night with all my Clinton friends. We closed the place down, got free food, and met someone famous. Okay, so I wouldn't have recognized him because #toocheapforcable, but the guy in the middle was on some show (Food Truck Battle or something?) on The Food Network. He spent the evening checking in on us and answering all of our reality TV questions. It was so fun!
Can you be a kid without being dragged around the house on a blanket by your dad? No. This is how we spend a good portion of our Sunday afternoons. Not seen, me sitting in a recliner sipping down the good stuff...joke. Kind of. 

1 comment:

Kim said...

(Snowball prepared by him.) Hilarious!!

Love the bathtub snorkelers. Such a cute photo!!

Mel. What can I say about your love affair with Mel? Loved that her husband overheard you going crazy over her and then your "He's ooohed and aaahed over her too, so I'm sure he completely understood our obsession." So funny!!

Who knew you had developed such a craving for bubbly when your mother can't stand a carbonated bubble to ever touch her lips.