Sunday, March 07, 2010

All in a Day's Work

Months and months of planning your vacation. Your bags are packed and you're all ready to go. You just seem to have forgotten one thing...your brain. We're all guilty of it. When you're working the front desk, mindless guests become easy targets for sarcastic blog posts. So here are my latest favorite guest blonde moments along with what I would love to say if I didn't have to be so polite.

Guest: "What are the road and weather conditions from Utah to California?"
I have been stuck behind this desk for the last 4 hours. I know as much as you do.

Guest: "Your rate is 72.00? I saw a sign on the freeway that said $39."
Me: "We don't have our rates posted anywhere."
Caught ya.

Me: "How can I help you?"
Guest: "I'm doing good, thank you."
I didn't ask.

Guest: "I usually stay at the Hilton, but I guess this will have to do for tonight."
Your majesty, thank you for gracing us with your presence.

Guest: "The light in my room is burned out."
Me: "Did you make sure the light is plugged in?"
Guest: "I didn't even think of that."
The lights are on and nobody's home.

I get the guest all checked in and hand them the map of the property.
Guest: "Oh, I don't need a map."
20 minutes later, we get a phone call to the front desk.
Guest: "What's the pool code, where's breakfast and where's the ice machine?"
All of those answers are on the map you didn't need.

Me: "How many adults and children will be in the room?"
Guest: "Two kids stay free?"
Me: "Yes."
Guest: "And three kids."
Real sly.

Guest: "Do you have anything bigger than a room with two queen beds?"
Me: "Yes..." I explain all the options.
Guest: "We don't need all that. We're just here for one night."
So why did you ask?

Guest: "Are your rooms nice?"
Yes they are, but even if they weren't, would you really expect me to tell you that?

Guest: "How much are the other hotels around here?"
I only work at this one.

Guest: "Hi. I don't have a reservation but I have to have ground level by the pool, close to breakfast, away from the stairs, on the safest, quietest part of the building and no one on either side of me."
We're sold out.

So weary travelers, remember your brain for your next trip. Along with some common sense and a swimsuit. Happy trails to you until we meet again.


Susan said...

Sarah, This blog is a "priceless" moment.Maybe we could send it into mastercard. As usual I laughed till I cried! I only wish we could put this stuff on Tripadvisor.
Great Job!!
P.S. Just a few months, you won't get to hear this sad that you will miss it :(

Rebecca said...

Are pets allowed in the rooms? Because if not...(I'm sure you can finish the sentence...)

jlthomas said...

I'll miss all your guest stories! Eli better have some great stories to make up for it :)

Kim said...

They all were hilarious! Please hold your comments when we come to be your hotel guests next month!!!

Eagle Hollow Furnishings said...

HAHA! I love it! I seriously think you should go into advertising!

David and Mary said...

Sarah, Do you have any "Clogged Toilet" stories? You know, our family owned a hotel for many years, and those toilet things were the absolute worst. At least you can see the humor in the brain-dead traveler questions. David

Tricia said...

HAHA! That's awesome! Thanks for making me laugh my guts out... and bringing back the memories of the Abbey for me! If only we could REALLY say those things!