Cindersara

Once upon a time when Jeff and I were celebrating our very first Valentine's Day together, I wrote him a book. Six years later, I reread the book for the first time and laughed until I cried. I figured you might enjoy it too.

Stories of Jeff Excell - A Hero Is Born

I worked at a hotel with Jeff's best friend, Will. One day Will came bopping in with a gleam of mischievousness in his eye. "Sarah! Has Jeff taken you to the polygamist house yet?"

Now. Let's stop right here. There's a strange thing about Cedar City that becomes normal after you've lived there a while. That thing is polygamists. A group of polygamists lives just outside of Cedar City, and you can't make a trip to Wal-Mart without seeing a slew of them. They are always so intriguing to watch. They never smile. The children file behind their moms so obediently. The women's hair is so crisply braided. They are so unknown to me which makes me feel a little unsure about them.

"What polygamist house?" I answered back to Will with hesitation.
"Oh MAN! He hasn't taken you yet?!? We gotta go. We gotta go THIS weekend." He then proceeded to tell me all the horror stories he's ever heard about polygamists with an eeriness in his voice.

I was scared at the idea of wandering into some abandoned polygamist house. But I did have this new boyfriend to impress. So I agreed.

We gathered a whole group of people, tallying up who had been before. There were about six girls -- none of them had been, and seven or eight boys -- all but one had been.

We caravanned over to the house. Everyone flipped their headlights off as we approached. "The house we are going in is abandoned." Jeff informed us, "But there are polygamists who still live near it. We don't want them to see us parking up here. And we have to be pretty quiet when we get out of the car."

What. On. Earth. Did. I. Do. To. Myself?!? I thought this was going to be some house in the middle of nowhere that would give me a glimpse into the unknown world of polygamists, and maybe held a few ghost stories. I didn't realize this adventure involved a potential run-in with the polygamists if we were less than stealthy.

The only thing that kept me going was knowing that Jeff and his friends had been to this house several times before. I took comfort in the knowledge that they had all survived earlier break-ins, so surely I was worrying unnecessarily. With a deep breath I tiptoed out of the car. Jeff grabbed my hand, looking calm and almost excited. "See those lights over there?" He pointed to what looked like a tiny village with lights flickering, "That's where the polygamists live."

"You're joking." I said, hoping Jeff would start laughing and tell me the gig was up.
"No. We really have to be quiet. We don't want them to see us. I don't even know what they would do if they found us walking around here."

Flashes of the somber polygamist women shopping at Wal-Mart whirled through my head. They didn't seem like the type of people to be very understanding of a herd of college-aged kids poking around in their abandoned property. I imagined guns pointed at me, screaming, and mobs of torched polygamists hunting me down. I gulped and continued on with my tip-toeing. Surely Jeff Excell would keep me safe.

We passed a shed and headed towards a building that was even closer to the dimly lit occupied village. I'm sure I was hyperventilating by this point, but trying to remain calm to prove myself to Jeff in case this was some kind of twisted initiation he put all his new girlfriends through. We got to the front door of the abandoned house.

Will busted it open without a hitch. We all filed in as Will and the other guys muttered, "Hey. This brick wasn't here last time we came." or, "Wasn't that picture hung up before? And the couch was over in that corner last time."

Their comments shot shivers up my spine as I processed their underlying message -- either someone besides Jeff and his roommates frequented the abandoned house, or it was not as abandoned as we once thought. Another gulp. Oh my gosh. I began thinking. Am I trespassing? Can the polygamists shoot me if I'm trespassing? Do they even live by the same laws as the rest of the world? I'm dead. I'm absolutely dead.

This thing happens when I get really scared. My knees shake. Violently. My whole body will be in a continuous, subtle shiver, but my knees. They go nuts. Up and down. Side to side. Uncontrollable. There have only been two times in my life when I have lost control of my knees. This was one of them.

Jeff moved on with such confidence that I again trusted his lead. We toured the top of the house and I was ready to get out. Then Will opened a door and led us to the basement. I muffled my urge to run back out the front door as I instead sunk further into the house. I remember nothing specific about the abandoned property except for the boiler room. Down in the very bottom back corner of the house. No windows. Just a tiny room that Will ushered us all into for some good old-fashioned abandoned polygamist house ghost stories.

This is such a bad idea. I thought. We are going to sit in this cramped room with no exit, trespassing, with no one standing watch while the polygamists barge in with guns, torches blazing, screaming at us to get out. I started making plans of action for every situation I may find myself in. Okay. If all goes according to plan, I get outta here as soon as I can and bolt for the car. If a polygamist does come in, maybe he will be reasonable and say, okay kids. You've had your fun. Now get out. But, realistically, he will probably come in with his mob and start shooting. 

I squeezed Jeff's hand as my face started to show my nervousness. But it was dark so I was still passing the girlfriend test if that was what this was all about. Knees started going crazy again. My nervous thoughts continued, Alright. If the mob comes in, where can I hide? There's a good spot underneath...

Then I heard a faint clunk, clunk coming from upstairs. Almost like footsteps. I did a quick scan hoping to see someone was missing and was wandering around upstairs. We had our whole group. Will continued on with his ghost stories, unaware of the noise I had just heard.

Clunk. Clunk.

Will shushed us all. "Did you guys hear that?" He whispered in a panic.

Clunk. Clunk. As the room shushed, I was able to clearly decipher what was making the clunking noise.

Cowboy boots.

The boiler room filled with heavy breathing. "Just be really quiet you guys!" Will urged us. I wanted so bad to think this was a joke, but everyone was right there in that room with us. I looked at Jeff and he looked scared. Oh. Crap. This is how I die. I told myself. My thoughts were interrupted by a burley voice coming from upstairs, "WHO'S IN HERE?!?"

Gunshot.

Silence in the boiler room.

"I SAID who is IN HERE?!? WHERE ARE YOU YOU LITTLE TRESPASSERS. DON'T you KNOW ANYTHING about respecting someone's PRIVACY?!?" He sounded exactly like I imagined a polygamist to sound. This was the real deal. It was my worst-case scenario unfolding before me. And I hadn't even had enough time to fully devise my escape plan.

The man upstairs started talking to another man. We only heard enough to know they were talking, but we didn't know what they were saying. Will took the moment to bring forth a plan, "Jeff and I are going to go up and talk to them. We will tell them we are the only ones in here. Then you guys can run free after they do whatever they are going to do to us."

Jeff slid his hand out of mine and disappeared down the darkened hallway towards what I assumed would be a mob of angry polygamists. Knees shaking, I curled up in a little ball, sat in the dark and savored the last moments of Jeff's warm hand in mine. I was sure he had just walked to his death.

Yelling happened. I don't remember what was said. Then Will came back down, "Alright guys, they're letting us go. But go fast! They're mad! Hurry, this way. This way!"

We ran out of the house, terror on our faces. Sucking in the fresh air as we reached the outside world. I kept my head down to avoid eye contact with the polygamists. I didn't want them to remember me in case we were ever doing our Wal-Mart grocery shopping at the same time. Jeff came over to me. I shifted my eyes to meet his, and was surprised to see him smiling. What?

I scanned the rest of the group who seemed to be in better spirits. My eyes made it to one of the polygamists. He was smiling too. Then I realized it was Will's brother. I looked at the other polygamist. It was Will's brother's friend who also happened to be my home teacher. Both of the "polygamists" were in full polygamist wear. Plaid shirts. Wranglers. Boots. Shotguns. Hats. They looked the part.

"Oh. My. GOSH!" I screamed. The blood started making its way back to my fingers and toes and my heart began trying to regulate itself again. I'm pretty sure I punched someone, either Jeff or my home teacher, as I came to grips with the elaborate prank that left my life flashing before my eyes.

After some giggling and tears of relief, we piled back into our cars. "YOU LEFT ME!!!!" I screamed at Jeff.
"What??" He innocently replied, "I was being a hero. Didn't you like that I was willing to die so everyone else could be saved?" That argument took some more convincing, and a couple days of recovery from the shock me and my kneecaps went through.

Jeff Excell. My polygamist fighting hero.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Spring Semester

I laid awake in bed at 3 o'clock the night Jeff Excell became my boyfriend. There was a lot to think about. Like were we going to hold hands at church? Would we drive to school together? What size ring did I wear?

My thoughts were interrupted by a text from my new boyfriend telling me goodnight, and I wondered how long it would take him to realize he'd made a terrible mistake agreeing to be my boyfriend. I was already dreaming about engagement rings after all.

I finally fell asleep and had a few days of digesting my new life with a boyfriend before spring semester started. Jeff and I looked over our schedules only to find I wasn't taking any of his advanced German classes and he had already taken my entry-level math classes. I accepted that having a boyfriend wasn't going to make my classes any more exciting and settled on only seeing Jeff after school.

As I woke up for the first day of school, I found that having a boyfriend also didn't help with my first-day-of-school jitters. On my way to class I got a text from Jeff, "Hey, your first class is in the ELC isn't it? I'm waiting in the lobby."

He was perfect. So perfect that when I saw him waiting outside my classroom to wish me a happy first day of school, it took all my power to refrain from yelling, "My ring size is 8 and I don't care how big the diamond is as long as it sparkles!" My jitters turned to giddiness as I hugged my new boyfriend and floated into class.

Class just so happened to be statistics. And it just so happens there's a lot of Microsoft Excel talk in statistics. Which isn't good for a girl who's giddy over an Excell. I was giggling at every mention of the computer program and looking around the room as I blushed. You'd think college would bring with it a little more maturity.

I left statistics with a newfound enthusiasm for spreadsheets and started towards my second class of the day as I spotted the source of my giddiness walking towards me.
"I thought all your classes were in the General Ed. building today." I said.
"I just wanted to come say 'hi.'" he answered.

It was at that moment I realized some guys really are gentlemen. And it was then that I blushed because one of those gentlemen had traipsed through several yards of snow just to see me. The blushing continued as I tried to appear collected.

Jeff then walked me to the accounting class I had with his brother. When the teacher called roll the first day he stopped after Bryan's name. "Is your brother Jeff?" he asked. Bryan confirmed to which the teacher said, "He's a good guy."

The compliment intended for Bryan left me smiling as I thought of that good guy I was dating all the way through my first accounting class. And I think that's probably the only smiling I ever did in accounting.

Meeting between every class quickly became a habit for us. We discussed the newspaper, gave each other pep talks for presentations and helped with last-minute study reminders. We also occasionally talked each other out of going to class to instead raid Jeff's parents' house for lunch and an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.

Every once in a while at the end of our school days I could convince Jeff to sneak off to the third floor of the library where he'd read me German poetry. I thought that was the most romantic thing in the whole world.

As classes went on, I would sometimes have another boy try to talk to me. Which almost made me gag, because other boys didn't save fortune cookies for me, woo me with notes in church, shamelessly stalk me, or get unexpected compliments from teachers in a class they weren't even in. I knew I had a keeper. And I could hardly even bear to interact with a guy who wasn't Jeff Excell.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Cherry Pie

(That picture is post wedding, and also not a cherry pie, but I still found it applicable seeing as these posts rarely get pictures and this picture was close enough.)

When I met Jeff's Dad on our first date, there was mention of Jeff being an excellent cherry pie baker. A 9 out of 10 on the delicious scale cherry pie maker to be exact. I had to get my hands on some of that pie. I don't particularly like pie, especially the ones filled with cherries, but I do enjoy seeing a man try to navigate a kitchen.

My request for the notorious Jeff Excell cherry pie was what got us on our date the day after feelings day.

We started in the aisles of Wal-Mart in hot pursuit of some cherries and shortening. I had my first glimpse of marriage as I dazed in and out of feeling like an old couple doing our weekly grocery shopping.

I might be alone in feeling that grocery shopping is a revealing activity. I'll admit that I often glance in people's carts and take a guess at what they're like.  Your trusted brands, your weekly necessities, your guilty pleasure treats -- it's all there for the world to see. This is why grocery shopping was one of my biggest fears of getting married. I didn't want my husband to see the inner depths of my shopping cart I guess. Lucky for Jeff, he presented my first experience with my biggest marriage fear to me minus the shopping cart and ending in the "10 items and under" lane. It was a good ease into my future with that cherry pie maker.

And believe me, I had been thinking about our future. It hit me as I was getting ready for this date that I would probably kiss Jeff Excell. I also knew Jeff Excell was the only boy I cared about dating, and I was pretty certain I was the only girl he was pursuing. I felt like we were acting like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title or kisses of the status. And I felt like that was all about to change so I made myself look extra cute for the evening.

We survived the grocery store and made our way to Jeff's parents' house to take full advantage of their pie making supplies.

Jeff's mom was doing a puzzle. I thought that was absolutely adorable and tried to impress her by helping her with a few matches. Jeff got busy on the pie.

I tried to help, but my help was similar to the aid of a toddler in the kitchen. I had to ask where everything was and I wasn't familiar with the art of cherry pie making. I quickly realized I was better suited as a benchwarmer and/or cheerleader.

It was quiet as the pie was gently molded. I watched Jeff with intrigue as I learned he insists on scientifically measuring every ingredient and obediently followed every recipe direction. He sliced the excess crust with a knife just as his grandfather had taught him. I learned his grandfather was near celebrity status down in Springdale, Utah and owned a restaurant where he was also known to make a mean cherry pie.

I'm glad Jeff got that gene. The gene of cherry pies and methodical cooking and crust slicing. It's very endearing.

Before long the pie was in the oven and we found ourselves in need of something to do for 45 minutes.

Jeff had tried to get me to watch the TV show "Lost" for ages. It didn't seem my type, so I politely rejected his recommendation. Time after time. He had me trapped on cherry pie night as he pleaded, "Sarah, we should watch 'Lost.' I bet I can get you hooked in 3 episodes or less."

I wasn't convinced I'd be hooked, but I did like the sounds of sitting next to Jeff on the couch for 3 episodes worth of a TV show, especially since we hadn't watched a movie or TV show together yet, and we were on the verge of finally holding hands. I couldn't turn down that setting.

I sat down on the couch first with my hand strategically reachable and open.

Jeff fidgeted with the CDs, wires, blankets, remotes, and got everything in perfect order. He sat down and his hand slid perfectly into mine.

It felt like we had held hands a million times before. It was heavenly and natural and comfortable and just absolutely perfect. I mean, my hands didn't even sweat. That's how good it was.

I had never been so angry to hear a buzzer notifying that a baked good was ready to come out of the oven. We made our way upstairs to inspect our (Jeff's) creation.

I pretended I loved cherry pie as he scooped me up a big piece. I drowned it in ice-cream to make it more appealing.

Jeff's dad meandered downstairs after hearing the timer. I asked him to tell me some stories he had from his work as a police officer. He kept me thoroughly entertained as I scarfed down my ice-cream and cherry pie, realizing I might just like cherry pie more than I ever knew. Or maybe Jeff is just that good at making a cherry pie.

Jeff's dad went back upstairs leaving me and Jeff to relish in our new relationship development. Jeff said, "So...do you want to play a game, watch a movie or play Sudoku or something?"
"Yeah, sure, we could play a game." I said.
"Let's watch a movie." He overruled.

Because you can't really hold hands playing a game. And holding hands was still way too much fun to stop just yet. We settled on Legally Blonde. He's a sucker for Reese Witherspoon. Lucky for him, so am I.

We slid back into perfect hand-holding position once we were back on the couch. About halfway through the movie I fell asleep on his shoulder. He woke me up as the credits were rolling.

We talked for a bit. I was groggy. Yeah, I'll go ahead and blame this on the grogginess. Because I am sure I wouldn't have said, "Knock, knock." If my whole brain was functioning.
"Who's there?" Asked Jeff, seeming to enjoy my sudden playfulness.
"Kiss." I said.
"Kiss who?" said Jeff as he laughed a little bit.
"Me." I said. And so we did.

The kiss was also perfect. Not too long. Not too short. I'm going to spare you any more details. It was worth the wait.

We talked for a little bit longer and then Jeff walked me to my car where I must have still been groggy as these words escaped my mouth, "So...am I your girlfriend?"

What on earth? Who was this girl? I am not that girl. I swear I'm not. The boy chases me. The boy does the work. That was the Sarah Thomas motto. And there I was throwing myself at Jeff Excell like he's the Bachelor at the first cocktail party and I was fighting with 24 other girls to win him over. 


As those words escaped my mouth, I suddenly snapped out of my 'grogginess.' I was expecting a kiss from the night, but I really wasn't expecting to find myself pressuring him into becoming my boyfriend. And then it suddenly hit me that he probably thought I used that knock-knock joke on every guy I kissed. He was the first! I would never convince him of that though. This is why girls don't make the moves. Or at least why I don't make the moves. My relationship with Jeff Excell was doomed for sure.

"Yeah, I guess you are." He answered without even having to think about it.

He kissed me goodnight. I let out a sigh of relief. He followed me in his car as we both left to our apartments. I accidentally took a very obviously wrong turn into a church parking lot on the way home which I thought I disguised well enough to look like I did it on purpose.

Jeff called me a few minutes after we left. He could do that now. Call me in the wee hours of the morning just to tell me he was thinking of me or he missed me.

Or to make fun of me for making a wrong turn -- it's all in the contract.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Feelings Day

It was as we were cruising the streets of Cedar City looking for the perfect sledding hill where Jeff proclaimed I didn't like to express my feelings.

"What?!?" I said, shocked he already knew me so well.
"Yeah. I never know what you're thinking. Tell my your feelings." He continued.
"Umm...well what do you want to know my feelings about?" I countered, scrambling to figure out exactly what he was looking for.

Because if he was simply wondering my feelings on sledding, I could really screw things up by babbling about how much I already loved him and how he had the best head of hair I'd ever seen and how I thought he was such a gentleman.

My dating world was suddenly turned upside down. I had always thought my ability to conceal my true feelings was one of my assets. I was never the blubbering girl crying at the movies. Or ever. I didn't cry. I didn't express myself. I was the bottle-everything-up-and-give-the-silent-treatment-until-I-forgot-why-I-was-upset type. My taboo topics were love and anger. If I felt the need to speak on either topic, I just went running and ran until I no longer felt the need to speak. It was my no-fail regimen. Until Jeff Excell came along and dared to try to get a glimpse of what goes on inside my brain.

As I was gathering my thoughts, Jeff had noticed the song that was playing on the radio - Don't Wait by Dashboard Confessional.

"Sarah, this song is perfect for what I'm trying to tell you! It says, 'lay your armor down.' Sometimes it seems like you have a wall up, but I just want to know what you're thinking. Listen to the song and lay your armor down. How about we make today 'feelings day.' We can ask each other anything today and we have to be totally honest."

That sounded like a good enough idea that would at least prevent me from having to guess at which feelings he wanted me to be spewing off.

We pulled up to the perfect hill. We joined the elementary school aged kids in New Year's sledding fun. We only went down a couple of times before we toppled off our sleds and rested at the bottom of the hill. Talking about our feelings.

Our feelings started light. Just like a game of truth or dare that evolves to only talking about your truths. Our truths were mostly about why past relationships failed and generic attributes we looked for in our future spouses. The peaceful, snowy hillside was the perfect setting to allow the depths of our souls to be spilled.

After an hour of quizzing each other in the snowy setting, I had to get back home because one of my friends was meeting up with me that evening. We made our way back to my apartment.

Just as I was getting out of Jeff's truck, he gently grabbed my arm to pull me back in.

"Wait," he said, "I want to know what your feelings are about me."

We had made it through our sledding adventure carefully discussing every feeling we had except our feelings about each other. But here it was. And I had to talk first.

"...I...like you?" I made it sound like a question in case I ended up needing to backtrack. I continued, "I have a lot of fun with you. You're one of the greatest guys I've ever met. And...you have really great hair." There. It was all on the table. I took a deep, nervous breath as I asked him his feelings on me.

"I like you, too. There's something different about you. [Insert cute things he liked about me here.]"

We sat and soaked up that our feelings were mutual. Then Jeff piped up, "So, I want to like, hold your hand, or kiss you, but I feel like it would be weird."

I was not about to have my first handhold/kiss with Mr. Feelings with the preface that he thought it would be weird. And I was not about to give him the satisfaction of being the one to make the first move. No way. I'm an old-fashioned girl. The boy does the chasing. And the first kissing.

I reached for the car door as I said, "It would be weird today. But another day it wouldn't be weird." He walked me to my door and we hugged. Another perfect, kissless date with Jeff Excell.

Stories of Jeff Excell - A New Year's Kiss?

The big debate. Whether or not to go down to Cedar City for my first New Year's Eve of knowing Jeff Excell. My big kiss break with the crush of my life. What to do? What to do?

The decision became even harder after Jeff sent me his completed homework assignment from me of writing up a life list. It was good. And as I read it, I couldn't help but imagine myself walking down Hollywood Boulevard with him, or being beside him as he caught that grand slam hit, or keeping him company in that hammock tied up by two palm trees.

There I had it. My life with Jeff Excell all planned out in the form of a list. I knew exactly what my future held. And I could no longer bear to imagine Jeff making any of his dreams come true without me. I smiled the whole time I read through the list. It was so perfect. It was so Jeff Excell.

Then I noticed he had added an extra goal. He was clearly the above-and-beyond type. My eyes glued to my computer screen as I read, "101. Spend New Year's 2008 with Sarah Thomas."

That little stinker. Using his life list against me. How could I stop him from accomplishing a freshly hatched goal?

I teased him in my email back that he could definitely spend New Year's with me by coming up to Salt Lake. The 8-hour round trip drive was his defense. He figured I needed to make it down to Cedar City either way, might as well be sooner rather than later.

I surveyed my family to see what their plans were for the holiday. Nothing. And besides, I wasn't interested in a New Year's kiss from any of them.

Jeff Excell had a hook on me. Which is why it only took about one day of debating before I announced to my family I was suddenly leaving a week early. And all for a boy. A boy with a very persuasive life list. And a very persuasive set of lips.

I got down to Jeff's new apartment the afternoon of New Year's Eve. I hadn't seen it yet, so Jeff gave me the grand tour.

One of the first things I noticed were the glamour pictures Jeff and his roommates had not only taken, but also hung on their wall.

You see, my roommates and I loved taking pictures. And we loved America's Next Top Model. Put the two together, and we ended up with milk mustaches smeared on our faces in an attempt to imitate a high fashion photo shoot. And what good would all those pictures be if we didn't pick our favorites to display in our living room?

I appreciated seeing our idea was such an inspiration. After the tour, Jeff and I played video games until the other party guests arrived.

I felt vulnerable being there. In a house full of Cedar City locals who all knew each other very well. Being the mystery girl who had come down from Salt Lake to spend the evening with Jeff. Having our first kiss in front of a bunch of strangers. The anticipation made me nervous. As we counted down the minutes until the new year, I attempted to play out all the possible ways the night could go, and the kiss could happen. They were all awkward.

I couldn't help but feel like maybe I was too bold to chase Jeff Excell in this way. It really was not my style. It was all too much. But it was all too late. The clock was quickly approaching midnight.

One way or another, I ended up sitting on the floor while Jeff sat next to one of his old mission companions on a tiny chair when the clock struck twelve. I looked at Jeff. Who looked at his companion. Who looked at the rest of the room and saw that no one brought in the new year with a kiss.

As the guests filed out of the house, Jeff took me up to his room to look at some old pictures he had. I loved looking through Jeff's old pictures. Discovering his past. Hearing all the stories the pictures would provoke. His arm around my shoulder as we flipped through his history.

I was really tired and the night ended up being a bit of a disappointment. So when my blurred brain came to realize the possibility of a new year's kiss was still lurking, I told Jeff I needed to go. Because our first kiss had a lot of pressure now. It needed to have the fireworks of happiness and perfection. Not the gloomy sense of obligation.

Jeff walked me to my car and reminded me he had work off the next day. He told me he wanted to take me sledding. I had nothing better to do -- being stuck in Cedar and all -- so I agreed.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Our First Christmas

The Christmas season split our budding love for a few weeks as I went up to my parents' house and Jeff stayed in Cedar. We texted during our time apart except for one day. Christmas.

Because on Christmas, Jeff chose to call instead of text. And then I knew we were getting serious. Because he called knowing we were in opposite parts of the state. He called with nothing more on his agenda than to talk. To wish me a merry Christmas. To be my boyfriend figure.

He probably didn't look at it that way, but of course that's how I analyzed the situation.

I saw the incoming call and I ran up to my room to soak up my potential boyfriend's Christmas wishes in peace. We talked briefly about how our day had been. Then he asked me what I was doing the rest of the night.

In all my girl-about-to-be-in-love stupidity, I responded I was going to watch the latest Batman movie.

Jeff seemed mildly impressed.

I had this weird thing when I was single where I thought guys would love me if they knew I enjoyed a good guy movie every once in a while. So I all too often made a scene of the few times I would watch these movies. In fact, I purposely brought action movies I don't really care about to college for the sole reason of peaking a guy's interest.

In hindsight it's really quite embarrassing, but at the time it made perfect sense.

I strategically told Jeff I was going to watch the Batman movie because I knew it was one of his favorites. What he didn't know is that I had tried to watch the movie several times before this Christmas and I had fallen asleep early into each attempt. Like previews early.

But I was determined to finish it this time because in my naive single girl mind, this was a critical part of my future with Jeff. He would never like me if I didn't like the same movies as him. How could he?

As I was patting myself on the back for slipping my movie choice of the night into our conversation, Jeff had already moved onto talking about our upcoming New Year's celebrations.

Jeff had just moved into his first apartment. He and his roommates were throwing the party of the night. He invited me down.

Wow. New Year's together? Was this my kiss moment? A New Year's kiss? Do I want that? This is probably because I told him I like watching Batman in my free time. I can't go to Cedar. I'll be down there for a whole extra week doing nothing. I don't get to see my family very much and I'll have to leave early. But my much anticipated kiss could be waiting for me in that house on New Year's...

I told him I'd have to think about it.

We somehow ended our conversation by talking about my life list. Which is a list I was forced to write my senior year of high school consisting of 100 things I want to accomplish in my life. Sadly, my highest aspirations were to pet a lion and paint my son's fingernails (watch out Eli). But it has been fun to see some of the unexpected ones -- like be in a movie -- actually happen.

As much as I hated writing my life list, I do love looking back at it. Which is why I encouraged Jeff to make one that Christmas break. He accepted my homework assignment.

We eventually hung up the phone.

Then I went to my computer to start watching the dreaded Batman. And I fell asleep 15 minutes into it.

Stories of Jeff Excell - A Date to Remember

It would take me years of being married (three to be exact) to discover how rarely men recognize an awkward situation and to fully understand the undeniable persuasiveness of my batting eyelashes. Thank goodness I had at least that going for me at our cringing ward prayer interaction.

Because I believe I owe it to my fluttering lashes for the phone call I received later that week. It was my first real phone call from the suave Jeff Excell, and, as he put it, he was calling to ask me out on our fifth date.

Oh that Jeff Excell. Such a jokester. Wait, he was joking, wasn't he? Is he just trying the old TV line of pretending we've been on more dates than we really had so he could kiss me on our first date? Oh my gosh. Was I going to kiss Jeff Excell? Or was he just trying to rid us of the nervousness associated with a first date by labeling it a fifth date? Either way, his wording left me wondering if he would be expecting a kiss, and I geared up for the big moment as I got ready for our date.

He picked me up right on time. I love when a guy gets you right on time. Even a little early is cute. Like they're not ashamed to let you know how anxious they are to see you.

We drove over to campus and walked around. Okay. So we may or may not have found a way into the secret underground tunnels of campus, but I don't want the cops showing up at our door, so I'll just call it walking around (and under) campus.

We talked about our families' Christmas traditions. When I found out our families both did a Christmas talent show, I knew we were meant to be. I love asking people what they do for Christmas because I strangely think it tells a lot about a person. And I was liking what Jeff told me about him.

We then went over to Jeff's parents' house to play Sudoku. We sat on the floor on opposite sides of a coffee table and raced to complete the puzzles. It was nerdily romantic.

Before long, Jeff's family came walking in the door and they all casually huddled around to view our "fifth date" Sudoku spectacle. I remember thinking they were really funny as they joked about riding around town singing Christmas carols on the back of a trailer filled with hay. I think at one point I was invited on the hypothetical hay trailer Christmas caroling ride to which Jeff ushered me out of the house and apologized, worried I may have been embarrassed. I wasn't. And I thought his family was hilarious, perfectly matching the image I had of them based on what Jeff had shared with me earlier about their Christmases together.

We made our way to my apartment. Just before we got out of the car, Jeff told me he had something for me. He leaned into the back of his truck, rustled around a little bit until his hand reappeared with a neatly wrapped gift. I am sure I looked confused. And happy. And excited. And shocked. A little hesitant, I tore through the paper to find my dream Christmas present just beneath the wrapping -- a My Little Pony.

I melted. His gift reassured me our awkward interaction from the Sunday before wasn't quite as catastrophic as I had led myself to believe. It was just what I needed. It was nice to know he could mend my awkwardness by transforming it into a cute sentiment. It was sweet to see he didn't judge me for what I said, but valued my opinion no matter how nonsensical and immature. Pony and all. My dream man. And it was only our first date. Or was it our fifth date? I didn't care. I was in heaven.

As my giddiness quickly escalated with the gift of my brand new pony, I had to contain myself by shifting our attention to an inevitable round of Super Smash Brothers on the Nintendo64. Our knees touched mid-game, causing a tornado of butterflies to spiral in a wild fury in my stomach. The game ended. It was late. But Jeff Excell was not leaving. Which didn't bother me one bit.

One way or another, we both ended up chatting on the floor under the same blanket. I didn't know this then, but Jeff has this weird thing about loving to talk in the wee hours of the morning. It's a little bit of an adjustment being married to a nocturnal animal who will sit in the same room with you for three hours without saying a word until the clock strikes twelve. Because only when my body is utterly tired and ready to succumb to sleep does Jeff decide he wants to pour his heart out to me.

He was the same then as he is now. Not that we weren't talking our whole date, but the later it got, the more he was willing to share. We talked about hopes and dreams, our childhoods, and even his fear of women's issues. It was so much fun.

All the while I kept my lips puckered, waiting for that fifth date kiss that was bound to hit me at any moment.

I was sure the moment had arrived when conversation shifted to first kisses. That was my tell-tale sign a guy was going to kiss you. If they start talking about kissing, it's because kissing is on their brain. I prepared myself for the best first kiss of my life.

Eyes closed, lips glossed, perfectly puckered, breath held in excited suspense and anticipation -- only to hear Jeff shuffling around, standing up and telling me it was probably time for him to go.

I put my kiss-face away and felt surprised by the outcome of the night. Not necessarily a bad surprise though. It was kind of a relief to not kiss Jeff on our first and/or fifth date. Kind of gentlemanly of him. I knew we both had a good time, and I was sure the date was a success. I mean, the guy bought me a pony for Pete's sake. It was refreshing to have a boy interested in more than a kiss. We hugged and Jeff walked out the door. I closed the door and squealed. What a perfect first date.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Ward Prayer

There was an awkward time in our relationship as we rested on the verge of being flirty friends and dating. So there we were. Stuck on the verge.

Despite our many run-ins, we still hadn't been on a real date. And sure, Jeff had frequently joked that we'd already had several dates, but the reality left us stuck without a single date together under our belts.

I found myself one Sunday at the ever familiar singles ward mixer --  ward prayer -- on a mission to assure Jeff I was ready to overcome the verge and go on an official date with him. I walked in and meandered over to Jeff, beaming at the sight of an available seat next to him. I stole the seat -- a bold move for timid me -- and tried to strike up a conversation.

The verge of dating was especially awkward for me because once I realized how much I liked Jeff, I could no longer act normal around him. My brain would freeze. My eyes would widen. My body became tense. My eyebrows furrowed. I would sweat. Profusely. It's not pretty. And it really tests a man on the verge.

In my awkward state, I attempted to flirt by asking him with my widened eyes batting what he wanted for Christmas. He said he didn't know. Then we sat in silence and soaked up the awkwardness of the verge. Strike one. I should have come prepared with more material.

But it seems like the harder you try to come up with something to say, the harder it is to come up with something to say. So anything that does come out is obviously forced and painful for every member of the conversation. And that's exactly what happened. I cringed at the conversation I was forcing upon us.

After trudging through far too much uninteresting small talk, Jeff took the reigns and asked me what I wanted for Christmas. In all my awkward glory, I said a pony. Strike two.

A pony. What? It was my sad attempt to be funny as I imitated every 5-year old girl's Christmas wish. Jeff didn't seem amused. I needed to get out of there. And fast. I couldn't bear to give myself the opportunity for a third strike.

I excused myself from our misery and made my way to the refreshments table. I shoved a brownie in my mouth, signaled to my roommates we needed to jet and I left the church that night confident my relationship with Jeff Excell was over.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Serendipity

After our evening at the temple, I decided to ask Jeff over to my apartment to play Nintendo 64 games with me and my roommates. Since Nintendo was his favorite Christmas present of all time, I knew it was a no-fail recipe. The group quickly dwindled to just me and Jeff battling it out on Super Smash Brothers, subtly inching closer and closer with each game. It got late and we had early morning church the next day, so Jeff decided to go home.

Sunday morning comes quick after a late night of Nintendo. I had to go to an early morning meeting for someone who was out of town. My morning grogginess prevented me from realizing the ward's Executive Secretary would probably cross paths with me on the way to my meeting.

A calling like the Executive Secretary isn't taken lightly. No, no. They have to call someone who has been in the ward for a while. Someone they know will be devoted to the early morning meetings, show up on Sundays and willing to take diligent notes. Jeff Excell was a veteran in that particular singles ward and had earned the trust to hold such a calling. A calling he took great pride in as he asked people to say prayers and listened to the latest ward hookups in the early morning meetings.

I was running a little bit late for my meeting because...well...I had had a late night. But tardiness is excusable in a singles ward as long as it's dating that's interfering with church.

As I approached the Bishop's door, I saw a dashing young man leaning against the wall. That dashing Executive Secretary smiled and said, "I dreamt about Super Smash last night."
I was still groggy so probably said something not worth trying to remember followed by, "Are you going to this meeting?"
"No. My meeting got out about 15 minutes ago."
Hmmm. It was early, but at this point I was awake enough to know there was a reason he gave up a post-meeting, pre-church nap that day to stand outside the Bishop's office.

***

Then there was the time a couple days later when he was texting me. He asked me what I was doing that night. I told him I had tithing settlement. Mind you, I was already on my way to tithing settlement as I was telling him this.

It was a busy night for tithing settlements. I sat outside and waited. After about...I'm going to say seven minutes...in walked that dashing Executive Secretary. This was too perfect to be a coincidence. I am certain of this because I now know it takes approximately...seven minutes to drive from Jeff's parents' house to the church.

We chatted. He told me funny stories. Then my mom called. I will always remember this. I had told her select things about Jeff, but I don't think she knew a lot. Jeff was distracting me while I was talking to her. I told her I was at tithing settlement and that Jeff had followed me. Then she told me I was being too giggly so she'd just let me go.

I didn't think I was being overly giggly. Then I realized I was. Then I realized it wasn't bad necessarily. Each giggle confirmed I had a good time with Jeff. He was winning me over one giggle at a time.

One of my favorite things about Jeff when we were dating was how forward he was. He literally chased me. Which sounds kind of creepy but he did it so adorably. He successfully made our lives imitate all those cheesy romance comedies where the guy and girl keep "accidentally" running into each other. It was perfect and fun to have him put so much effort into spending a few extra minutes with me.

Oh Jeff Excell. My very own Jonathan Trager.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Seat Swiper

Getting four girls to church early was a rarity. For some reason clothes never seemed to fit right on a Sunday morning.

But one Sunday (to Jeff's delight) we actually made it in our seats with minutes to spare. Jeff took the unique opportunity to strategically place his scriptures next to me. As he got up to pass the sacrament he said, "Save that seat for me. . . Unless you were saving it for 'You Know Who.'"

"You Know Who" is the "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" of our story. Jeff loved to tease me about Tanner. I always laughed and rolled my eyes. How many times did I have to tell Jeff that You Know Who and I were kaput?

Apparently I told Jeff one too many times and You Know Who not enough.

As I reached for the hymn book before the opening song, in walked You Know Who. We made eye contact. I quickly looked away. He didn't take my vague hint. Before I knew it, Jeff's scriptures were two chairs away and You Know Who had swiped my neighboring seat.

Jeff saw everything. And laughed. It was too good not to laugh. Even if you are the one whose scriptures were being tossed around and even if it was the seat next to the love of your life that was stolen right before your eyes. Jeff called it. He knew. He's seen it before. The risks of passing the sacrament I guess.

Jeff got back to his seat which was now two seats away from me.

We passed notes behind You Know Who's back the whole meeting. You Know Who didn't really appreciate that. But he was a seat swiper. He had it coming. And he finally caught the hint that we might be over.

Stories of Jeff Excell - St. George Temple Trip

Many people have asked me why I chose to get married in the St. George Temple. Here is my answer in probably too many details:

It was the day of our ward temple trip and I was pacing around my apartment the hour before it was time to go. I was not too big on attending ward events without my roommates and none of them could make it that day. I finally decided to be brave and I drove over to the church to gather with the rest of the ward.

Jeff had told me he would be there, but he was no where in sight. I kept my eye on each car that pulled up. I saw Tanner pull in and knew it would be an interesting night. At this point I was sure Tanner and I were completely over. I was fixed on Jeff. Even though I never told Tanner my feelings, I assumed he knew. I soon found out boys are really bad at reading girls' minds. As Tanner approached, I hid behind a corner next to Jeff's brother in hopes to stay out of Tanner's view.

"Hey Bryan...I thought Jeff was coming tonight." I said trying not to be too obvious.
"He is. He had to work late tonight but he's going to hurry over as soon as he's done."

Hallelujah. My brave venture out alone would not be in vain.

Jeff pulled up as we were making carpool arrangements. Cars were filling up quick so Bryan followed me to my car. Just as we were getting ready to invite Jeff in, Tanner piped up, "Hey Sarah, there's one more seat in this car."

Blast.

Moments after, Kami offered Jeff and Bryan the last two seats in her car.

Double blast. Jeff and I exchanged looks of discouragement and we split ways.

It was tradition in that ward to eat at a cute little restaurant called Mongolian Barbeque on every temple trip. We went there first. I was more concerned about my company than my food so I snagged a spot next to Jeff. Tanner snagged a spot next to me. I could deal with that.

It was a few weeks before Christmas so I asked our end of the table what everyone's all time favorite Christmas present was. Tanner answered first and shared a spiritual gift he got on his mission. It was a little deeper than what I was going for. The all too familiar singles ward awkwardness began to loom. Jeff broke the silence, "My favorite present was my Super Nintendo. Remember that, Bryan?"

Jeff and Bryan reminisced as I nudged Jeff for a high five under the table. The waitress brought us fortune cookies as we finished our meals. I wished for another one because they were so good. We laughed at the fortunes and then wandered back to our unfortunate carpool situation.

Jeff stopped me on the way out to slip a fortune cookie in my hand, "You said you wanted another one, right?" Perhaps my mention of wanting another fortune cookie in the restaurant was my subconscious testing my male company to see if one would attempt to woo me. While my subconscious was being wooed, my conscious was in complete shock that my frivolous wish had been granted.

I felt like Cinderella and that fortune cookie was my missing glass slipper. Jeff was nothing short of Prince Charming that night. If I wasn't falling for him before, the suave fortune cookie move certainly did the trick.

We hopped back into our cars and made our way to the temple. I smiled the whole way there. Not because I was sitting next to Tanner, but because I was holding a very special fortune in my hand.

I was one of the first people to be done at the temple. I sat down and calculated the many hours I would still be there as I saw all the people who still needed to go. I had a lot of homework that night. I became overwhelmed. Until Jeff Excell came to keep me company.

My piles of homework drifted from my mind as Jeff and I whispered and giggled for about an hour and a half. We chatted about our current failing relationships with Kami and Tanner. We talked about our Christmas traditions. By the end of our wait he suggested we sneak off to get married. He sounded genuinely disappointed as he realized we probably couldn't get married without an appointment.

We walked outside and made fun of the couples walking hand-in-hand outside the temple. I think we were really just wishing our ward wasn't watching so we could join in on the hand holding fun. We parted ways for the night.

I didn't say much on that car ride home from St. George. I lingered for an acceptable amount of time back at the church in a desperate hope to "accidentally" run into my Fortune Cookie Prince one last time. No such luck. I drove home with butterflies as I remembered the night. When I got home I noticed a goodnight text from Jeff. As I fell asleep that night, I couldn't help but envision entering that temple with him again.

Stories of Jeff Excell - The Outburst

Fall semester doesn't have too many breaks, so I was eager to escape up to my parents' house the moment I got out of my last class before Thanksgiving. Kenz and I usually drove up together, but she had to stay a few extra days to work, so I was riding solo.

I got about half way before I noticed a text message from a number I didn't have programmed in my phone. I don't remember what the message said, but if I had to guess based on the texter's texting history, it probably said something like, "I can see you."

This was a favorite phrase of Jeff Excell's. Leslie and I were just reminiscing of these stories and wondering why we weren't more creeped out by Jeff's frequent stalker impersonating. While some of these stories do sound like the beginning of a news report where the girls get murdered in the end, we knew Jeff's stalking was usually coincidental and always harmless/funny.

So when I saw the text from the unknown number, I had a confident guess of who the author was. What I was unsure about, though, was how this shameless stalker had tracked down my number. My questions of how he got my number soon evolved into excitement that Jeff Excell just so happened to text me mere days after I had realized I was twitterpated with him.

Quickly into the conversation, Jeff texted me a quote from the TV show "The Office." I thought I was so witty as I texted him another quote in response. This continued for the next three or four hours. (Yes, I texted and drove. And almost died several times. All in the name of love.)

When I woke up the next day, another "Office" quote was waiting for me. We went back and forth all week. Jeff is a master at remembering lines from TV shows, but I think it's time for me to confess I was running to the computer several times throughout the week trying to find the funniest quotes to woo Jeff with my sense of humor.

We eventually moved on to texting more than just quotes. Soon Jeff started texting me every morning. It was such a fun feeling to check my phone and always have a message waiting for me from exactly the person I was checking my phone for.

With all of those texts, and all that attention, I really started to fall for Jeff. Really. I had kept it a secret from my roommates because we were all friends with him, and I knew they would think it was kind of weird. But one night as Kenz and I were chatting before bed, I decided to break my Jeff Excell silence with, "So....do you think Jeff Excell is cute?"
Kenz, "Yeah. He is cute. He's so funny."
Me, "He's been texting me a lot."
Kenz, "....Do you think Jeff Excell likes you?"
Me, "I don't know. What do you think?"
Kenz, "Oh my gosh! I bet he does like you! I can't believe I didn't see it before. I bet you guys will date for a while and have a lot of fun. Like a little fling, but nothing serious."

Unsuspecting Kenz was unaware of the depth of my crush and the nerve she hit. At the time, she never would have guessed I was fishing for her to tell me Jeff and I would be in wedded bliss the rest of our lives and be so cute together and live happily ever after. So this happened:
Me, "WHY COULDN'T IT BE ANYTHING SERIOUS?!?"

Silence filled the room.

Kenz soaked in the "seriousness" of my Jeff Excell crush. Then ran out of the room to tell Leslie.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Top 3

I distinctly remember being in my car with Kenz in the library parking lot when this story of Jeff Excell unfolded. Somehow Jeff's name had casually slipped its way into our conversation like it always did.

I started thinking about Jeff. I had recently met his younger brother, Bryan, at church. When I tried to pry Bryan for dirt on Jeff by asking him to tell me all the horror stories of their childhood (expecting something similar to my childhood full of headless Barbie dolls, slender fingers constantly making me aware of my chubby ones, and endless name calling), Bryan said, "Jeff is the nicest brother I could ever ask for. He actually let me borrow this sweater today."

Unheard of! I continued to pry, but Bryan could not think of one bad memory of his older brother. Wow.

I thought of how he was always at all three hours of church, and how he seemed to get a kick out of me and my roommates. I remembered how he made the library a new adventure every day and always made studying fun.

Suddenly these words escaped my mouth, "You know, Jeff Excell is probably one of my top ten favorite people... No, he's probably top five... Actually, I would say he'd even make the top three." Kenz laughed and agreed. Jeff Excell was (and is) such a kind, fun, overall great guy.

The rest of the way home I remember thinking, If Jeff Excell is one of my "top three," why do I not like him as more than just a friend?

And that is the pivotal moment when I realized I was in fact starting to like Jeff Excell as more than just a friend.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Shooting at Hitler

I love dressing up for Halloween. I love coming up with fun, clever costumes. I have been Sonic the Hedgehog, a Doublemint Twin, and I have never been more proud of a costume idea than my sophomore year when Kenz and I were shooting stars.

It was the week before Halloween. We had our gigantic cardboard stars on, glitter on our lashes, and fully loaded Nerf guns. We sparkled right on over to the Halloween Institute activity where we met up with Tanner and his friends. One of these friends said he wanted to dress up as something scary. He chose Hitler. Some felt this was slightly inappropriate, but everyone agreed it was scary.

There was a catwalk set up for people to show off their costumes and win awards. When they began beckoning contestants for "scariest costume," Hitler made his move. He was determined to persuade the judging panel his costume was award worthy.

As he was practicing his catwalk, the rest of the group was devising a plan to help ease the awkwardness that would fall upon the gym as Hitler walked the runway. In no time, his name was announced and he was strutting his Hitler stuff. He got to the end of the catwalk and waited for something. An applause? No. Boos? Not at an institute event. Nerf bullets? Yes. Kenz and I swooped in to provide Hitler with  comic relief as we exhausted all our bullets on him the moment he stepped within range.

Laughter and smiles replaced the horror and shock. Hitler made his exit.

We had already shown off our costumes, so I wasn't too concerned about my Nerf bullets being swallowed up in the costumed crowd. I didn't mind sparing a few bullets to save our friend from being the center of all institute awkwardness that night. (That's saying something, because institute is known for its awkwardness.) Hitler returned and finally expressed to us that maybe Hitler wasn't the best costume choice. Especially because he didn't win the award...Satan did.

We wandered through the crowd to see if we could find any more people we knew before we left to eat dinner. Within minutes of our crowd weaving, we found perhaps just who we were looking for -- a costumeless Jeff Excell holding six Nerf bullets.
"I picked these up for you," He said as he handed them over.
I was caught completely off guard. I had barely given those bullets a second thought after I shot them at the unawarded scariest costume.

A few words were exchanged, but our group pulled us away because they were getting hungry. We weren't about to upset certain members of our group, so we said goodbye to Jeff.

We made it to the restaurant. The institute dance was comfortable compared to the feeling of walking into "The Pizza Factory" with Hitler when it wasn't officially Halloween. We should have also devised a plan for easing that awkwardness. Despite my unease about walking in with an inappropriately dressed friend, I did find comfort in the fact that I had a fully-loaded gun.

**I just got permission from my friend who was dressed as Hitler to link to his blog where he also happens to have a post about this night...with a picture. Go to his Halloween post by clicking HERE.**

Actual Stories of Jeff Excell - The Hitchhiker

I know it has been quite awhile since Sarah has posted this particular story about our dating life. But I just could not let this one go without a few corrections. If you would like a refresher on her story you can click here.

During college I was not overly excited about the whole "family home evening" scene. You practically had to twist my arm to get me to go to these socially awkward events. In fact, anything that had to do with forcing the singles to mingle I steered clear of. But, on occasion I would attend if there were good reasons. On this particular Monday night I had a very good reason to attend.

It was true, I had been casually seeing a girl in the ward (referred to as "Kami" in the previous version of the story). And yes, this girl did happen to be at family home evening that night. But she was not the reason I broke tradition and ventured to the church on this cold fall night. See, there was another girl in the ward. A girl who I was becoming more and more interested in. Sarah Thomas from North Salt Lake had taken me completely by surprise in the previous weeks. She had dazzled me with her looks and backed it up with wit and humor. And to top it off there was just something about her that I couldn't explain. Although I was unaware at the time, Sarah Thomas was the reason I went to family home evening that night.

As I was sitting at a table talking to fellow single ward members I saw this girl walk in wearing a purple shirt. To my surprise I was oddly excited to see it was Sarah Thomas walking in the door. Lately, this had been happened quite a bit. I would get excited every time I would see Sarah Thomas. I would always shrug this feeling off thinking that I was perfectly content with the current girl situation. On this night I would realize that those feelings of excitement meant that I liked Sarah Thomas more than just a friend. As her roommate and she walked in they immediately came and sat by me. We talked for a bit and I got the impression that they weren't planning on staying long. I found myself conjuring up some plan in my mind to spend more time with Sarah Thomas. While we were talking by the snack table she mentioned she had to go to the library to do some homework. Bingo! There it was. I could go to the library and talk to Sarah Thomas. I said goodbye to Sarah Thomas and her purple shirt knowing that we would meet again that night.

This is where Sarah's and my stories begin to differ. I actually did have an assignment that I had to do. Yes, I could have easily done it at home and probably would have had Sarah not gone to the library. I saw this as an opportunity to one, get my assignment done and two, find more out about this Sarah Thomas. So off I went to the library. As I walked in I immediately began to look around, hoping my trek to to library wasn't in vain. It wasn't. There was Sarah Thomas with an empty computer right next to her.

I hurried over to her and sat down before anyone else could steal my seat. I could tell by the expression on her face that she was a little surprised, but also excited that I had sat next to her. She inquired as to why I was at the library. I told her that I did have an assignment I needed to finish (which I did) but I neglected to tell her that I also came to see her (I didn't want to sound like a creeper). I then began my (very short) assignment. It didn't take long to finish (more like 30 minutes rather than the 5 Sarah claimed) and I asked Sarah how long she was going to take. She said she had only started so she wasn't sure. I began to check my email (no YouTube or Facebook) and take my daily dose of ESPN.com. After about 20 minutes (Sarah has now had over an hour to do her homework so I didn't feel bad about distracting her) I asked if she was done yet, because I needed a ride to me car. It had been snowing that night and I didn't want to walk the three (not two) blocks to my car. Yes I had ulterior motives to talk to Sarah Thomas, but my primary objective was a ride to my car. So after hardly any convincing at all Sarah Thomas and I were walking out of the library to her Rav 4.

What happened next, in my opinion, was a defining moment in our future relationship. I'm not sure the exact words that were spoken in the short ride to my car, but it was during that time I realized that I liked Sarah Thomas. All the feelings of excitement when I saw her and going out of my way to talk to her had finally made sense to me. I was falling for this blonde-haired girl from North Salt Lake and I was getting the vibe that she was falling for me. As she dropped me off and I watched the Rav 4 drive out of sight, I knew there was something special about this girl and I couldn't wait for our next encounter.

Stories of Jeff Excell - The Phantom of the Library

It quickly became tradition to immediately look for Jeff as soon as we walked into Jeff's second home - the library. One day Kenz and I were in a hurry to finish our creative writing assignments, so our initial scan for Jeff was not as thorough as usual. We sat down at two computers and went to work in a wild frenzy.

Kenz finished her assignment faster than she expected, so she started talking to me. She stood up and casually looked around, "Hmmm... that's weird. I wonder where Jeff Excell is today." I broke away from my homework to glance around the library, "Yeah. I don't know."

Kenz leaned over to get something out of her backpack. Sitting right behind her, suddenly revealed, was Jeff Excell. My eyes bugged out of socket. I gasped in amazement and shock. Jeff had seemingly appeared out of no where. I was tempted to check the floors and ceilings for trap doors, but I resisted the urge.

"Jeff Excell! Oh my goodness. We were just talking about you," Kenz said.
"I know. I heard," the Phantom of the Library responded, "What's this, Sarah?"

I had been working on the dumbest assignment of my college career. I had to write an act from a play. Draft after draft, I could not prevent it from being even cheesier than an episode of Full House. I was not proud of my work. My embarrassment reflexes snatched my play from Jeff's reach the moment his attention was drawn to it.

"That's nothing. I hate that I had to do that assignment. Don't look at it."
"You should let me read it. Is it a play?"

After much debate, the world's worst play snippet entered the Phantom's hands. He let me know he would read it and have it back to me later. My red face and I left the library and went to class. Jeff stayed in the library and scribbled out my play's love-struck characters' names and replaced them with Sarah and Tanner (name has been changed, I was dating him at the time). There was a side boy who liked "Sarah," but she didn't like him back. The Phantom renamed that character Jeff.

I think the Phantom knew the side boy usually ends up with the girl... if the cheesy play is ever finished.

Stories of Jeff Excell - The Hitchhiker

This is one of my most favorite Jeff Excell stories.

At the start of every school year I'm all gung-ho about being involved in every activity I can possibly be involved in. One Monday night rolled around and I found myself quite enthusiastic to go to a ward family home evening game night. I think Leslie and Breanne were out of town so Kenz and I ventured out on our own that night.

We walked in and saw the familiar face of Jeff Excell. We also saw the familiar face of Jeff's crush at the time, Kami. They were sitting next to each other with a couple other girls. There were two empty seats on the other side of Jeff so I chose to sit next to the love birds in an effort to sponge up some new juice on the aspiring couple for our matchmaker bishop.

Since Jeff was starting to regularly sit next to us in sacrament meeting, I understand how Kami got the wrong idea when I went to sit next to Jeff. She left the table shortly after we got there. As she headed to the snack table, I was excited to hear the latest developments in their relationship. Jeff was vague with the details. He had been in the ward long enough to know that if you want a relationship to last, you give as little information as possible to fellow wardies.

Jeff, Kenz and I made our way to the snacks and then I said I had to go to the library to do some homework. We said goodbye to Jeff. I dropped Kenz off at home and made my way to the library.

The most ideal place to station yourself in the library computer lab is somewhere with an empty seat on either side of you. This allows for optimal sprawl space and gives you a better shot at avoiding being stuck next to some creep hysterically laughing at lame YouTube videos. I found three empty seats and claimed my territory right in the center of them. I got to work and was impressed with my diligence.

Until someone sat next to me. Now it's a funny thing when you're on a computer in the library. When someone sits next to you, you can't look at them because, if by chance they are looking at you too, that makes for a really awkward situation. So when someone sits next to you, the best thing to do is to continue working on whatever you were doing and pretend to be unaffected by the personal bubble intruder.

Unless that someone starts talking to you. Which my someone did start talking to me. Then it is acceptable to look. Jeff Excell! All intrusions are forgiven if your territory is invaded by a friend.
"You didn't tell me you were coming to the library, too," I said.
"I just remembered I had an assignment to finish up," He claimed.
I watched Jeff check his e-mails, check Facebook, read sports articles. Not once do I remember him working on any assignments. While he was on the verge of hysterically laughing at semi-lame YouTube videos, I started in on my homework again.
"So...how much longer are you going to be here?" He whispered.
"Um...I don't know. I just got here."
He continued YouTubing.
Five minutes later he tried again, "Are you almost done?"
"Why do you care how much longer I have?"
"I need a ride to my car."

I chuckled to myself and decided to finish early to give the stranded Jeff Excell a ride. We walked out to my car and talked about our default subject - Kami. I should have realized Jeff wasn't being vague about Kami to avoid ward juice, but rather because this is the day he will admit he became interested in me. It's not the greatest idea to talk about one crush with another crush. I also didn't put it together at the time, but Jeff's car was only two blocks away from the school. Very walkable if you ask me.

After I dropped Jeff off, I raced back to my apartment eager to tell my roommates about the Jeff Excell sighting. As I walked in the door Kenz said, "That was fast."
"I know. Guess who I saw."
Kenz, "Jeff Excell?"
It was pretty easy to guess that if there was a sighting in the library, it was probably going to be Jeff. "Yes! He made me finish early so I could give him a ride to his car."
Kenz started laughing, "Oh Jeff Excell...wait...do you think Jeff Excell likes you?"
Me, "...No. He likes Kami. We talked about her in the car."
All accusations of Jeff having a crush on me were instantly forgotten. Jeff Excell was just a library computer lab personal bubble intruder who needed a ride to his car.

Stories of Jeff Excell - Sacrament Meeting Distraction

I was in a ward my freshman year of college that had at least seven girls to every guy. They actually had to pull boys from outside our ward boundaries just so we had enough Priesthood holders. That ward led me to believe men should be added to the endangered species list. When one of those endangered species would venture out of his natural habitat to sit with a group of girls, it was a big deal. Me and my roommates never had the honor of sitting next to a real-life college boy our freshman year. Instead, we jealously watched our fellow lady ward members woo the select boys while we dreamed of a more fruitful future for our love life.

As you are probably starting to suspect, Leslie was a big part of the blooming of my relationship with Jeff Excell. Leslie loved boys. Boys loved Leslie. She is fun to be around and easy to talk to so people are drawn to her. If she would have been in our ward freshman year, I am certain she would have been involved in one of the groups of girls every other group of girls was jealous of because it's highly likely she would have had the attention of every boy.

So when Jeff Excell walked into Sacrament Meeting one Sunday and sat next to Leslie, who was sitting next to Breanne, who was sitting next to Kenz, who was sitting next to me, I stared in awe. I looked around. I saw the familiar looks on several of the boyless groups of girls. I couldn't believe Leslie's bond with Jeff Excell had finally made me be one of those girls sitting with one of the select college boy species.

Because my sophomore year ward was not near as boy-deprived, the groups of girls really weren't watching in a jealous rage like I imagined. Looking back, I realize people were probably watching with eager eyes because sophomore year ward was all about the juice. Any new ward hookups were frequent topics of Ward Counsel. The Bishop thrived in singles wards because he loved hearing all the details of ward love connections. The Bishop's love for juice on ward romances carried through to the ward members so everyone was especially aware of who sat next to who in church - ready to report to our Matchmaker Bishop who would be next down the aisle.

I guess all the eyes on me made me feel pressured to bear my testimony on that Fast Sunday when Jeff sat next to us for the first time. The First Presidency of the church had recently changed and I said something about them. Then I was scared I said the wrong thing so when I got back to my seat I asked Jeff if what I said was right. I also asked Leslie if my voice was really low. I was quite a self-conscious college student. They both assured me everything I said was fine and that I didn't sound too much like a man.

Halfway through the meeting I saw Jeff passing notes with Leslie and Breanne. Then a note came my way. I was surprised. Not only did I have the honor of being a part of the group of girls sitting next to a boy in Sacrament Meeting, that boy was even paying attention to me. This was a fruitful dream come true.

Now, it just so happens that Jeff was searching through the pockets of one of his suit jackets this week and found the very note he wrote me on that Sunday. (Can you tell we don't get his suits dry cleaned very often?) I have scanned it into my computer for your enjoyment.

I feel it necessary to note that Jeff is the one who drew that heart around his name with an arrow through it. It is also important for me to note that I have yet to discover my crush on Jeff Excell at this point in our story. Jeff was just a fun guy who was slowly weaseling his way into our lives one Sacrament Meeting at a time. Although we were oblivious to it, ward suspicion of a romance between Jeff Excell and one of the girls from Stadium Way 49 began to arise.

Stories of Jeff Excell - The First Library Run-In

Many a Jeff Excell story happened in the SUU library. I spent much of my sophomore year legitimately doing homework there while Jeff spent much of his library time mixing and mingling with everyone he knew.

Time went on after that fateful Sunday when we met. I don't know the details, but somehow he became pretty good friends with Leslie. They hung out a few times and I didn't really pay too much attention to it. I do remember her telling us he was 25. Kenz and I ran up to our rooms laughing at Leslie for not realizing he was probably one of those super seniors in desperate search of a wife. Leslie and Jeff had a bond right from the start, but I was a little hesitant to be overly friendly with a 25-year-old.

Leslie's obsession with Jeff's last name never died. These were common phrases from Leslie, "I was texting Jeff Excell today and..." "I saw Jeff Excell at school today." "Jeff Excell asked me to give the prayer in church." On several occasions we would be talking about him and if someone just said Jeff we would look confused and ask, "...who?"
The person would have to clarify with "Jeff Excell."
We knew no Jeff. We knew him only as Jeff Excell.

We quickly realized Jeff and Leslie were just friends and Jeff was not the wife-hunting type. Leslie would tell us about Jeff's crushes and we learned he had eyes for another girl in the ward. It wasn't me. It wasn't any of my roommates. After I heard about this crush, I thought they would be cute together and enjoyed watching Jeff try to make his moves on her during church. We will call said crush Kami.

One night, Kenz and I were at the library. Kenz said, "Oh look! There's Jeff Excell!"
"Is he with Kami?!?" I said, eager to secretly watch their romance bloom in the library.
"I don't think so. He's coming over here."
At this point in our story, Jeff and I hadn't really talked other than our introductions in sunday school. Kenz and I were sitting behind computer desks and we could only see Jeff from the waist up. Kenz had seen Jeff around the library several times before this incident, but this was my first encounter with him.
He came over and said hi.
Kenz said, "Jeff Excell, you're in the library a lot."
"I love it here. It's like a party every night in the library." (These aren't exact words, but close.)
We noticed Jeff was in basketball attire and had a backpack on. I'm guessing the backpack was more for the sake of appearing like he had a reason to be in the library besides just socializing. Jeff must have noticed I was looking at his clothes. He pulled one foot up to where we could see it and he had on a high blue sock. Then he lifted up the other foot and he had on a purple sock.

He said something funny like, "Are you judging me because I have on two different colored socks?" I didn't even see his socks until he lifted up his leg. I laughed and decided Jeff Excell is kind of funny. We said our goodbyes and then I watched Jeff ping pong from person to person in the library. I became a little more intrigued with that 25-year-old and his mismatched socks.